::~:: I'll be waiting 4 u ::~::

2007-08-17T15:31:00.000+10:00

Dear God

It's been months, since I've last talked to you. I miss you so. When I see others, who are not afraid to say they are a child of God, I envy them. I am not ashamed of being a child of yours, I'm just ashamed of what I am as a person now. I feel your presence everyday, yet I pretend not to. I'm just afraid to face you, it only just reminds me of how great you are, and the person I've become, when I am without you.

People says, God is not real, he's just something people make up to be real, but I know, you are so real. When I was close to you, I was happy. Now, my life seems to be so empty, and I feel so lost. You gave so much and want so little, Humans give so little but want so much. I need to find my way back to you, I hate who I am now.

I miss you and the life we used to have together.

love
wy

Happppi Bday 2 Meee

2007-08-01T11:24:00.000+10:00

Officially turned 21

So old..........................

Working on my bday sob sob..

..................

Looking forward to Saturday

birthdayyyyy

2007-07-27T09:52:00.000+10:00

My birthday is coming up soOn....
For my 21st, invited some of my special friends. I like to keep it, close and personal instead of having a party, where loads of people are invited, and sometimes you don't even really know who they are.

Even though 2 of my special friends, will not be able to make it. But it's all cool :) I know they are the type of friends that would try to make it if they could ! Happpy Birthday to Tam...on the 4th of August...Hope you have a wonderful night with your babygirl! It seems you've got loads of problems on your mind right now....I really hope, that everything will get better soon, for you and your family.

Julie, enjoy your night at your cousin's birthday party. Even though I really did want you to come, but, your cousin's party was already decided before mine, so basically i was a little too late. But everything's cool.

I hope, it will be a wonderful night on the 4th for everyone!

WyWy

2007-07-15T12:19:00.000+10:00

It's been 34months..2 more months before our 3rd year anniversary.
You've been so wonderful. I guess I am the selfish one, even though I've never realized it until now, I've never really cared for you as much as you have for me.

Maybe I've always took it for granted, that as my bf it is your duty to perform all these duties, but I've never really given a thought about why you were willing to do the things you have done for me..

* i luv u babe*

2007-07-11T15:16:00.000+10:00

I miss my friends, both overseas or local. Time, really is a huge test on friendships. Many of the friendships, never passed that test. Sometimes, I really envy others who has a regular person or group to talk to about anything or doing any certain activity. I do have , a few names of friends I would talk to, but seriously how often would we meet up.

It's hard to get everyone together. Now, that most of them are married and pregnant, I guess family will be the first priority for them and it is understandable.
I love my friends, I guess I do. But sometimes, time is not the only obstacle, another would be a person's heart. I feel sad, when I hear news about them through someone else's mouth. Just makes me question, if it was me not making enough effort to be part of their lives or I'm just not needed in their life. Sometimes, it's hard and lonely for only one person, willing to try and put in an effort to keep a friendship.

And that is one good reason, to stop trying, because it just reflects how alone you are in this whole thing.

2007-06-20T17:58:00.000+10:00

Examsss..........over
Yay I am all over the mOon and the stars and the clouds...Management exam today, last exam. Studied till 2am yesterday, tried to sleep but........I was so nervous ...I slept around 3 am, I think, woke up at 7am. I was exhausted. My brains were reminding me, to remember this definition or that theory.

When i first, read the exam questions, my first thought, was , "I am so dead" Well when I finally calm myself down, I realised that, everything I remembered, were what the exam questions were asking for. Well, I'm not sure how I'll go in this exam, I hope I'll pass, maybe that tiny little nerdy greedy biatch, in me was hoping more, like a distinction or high distinction maybe. *LoL*

Heroes , Prisonbreak..........................I can't wait ...tonight..........Sorry My brain is still cramped up with all the management definitions and theories.......All I can say is...I am so happy...lallalal

Exams

2007-05-31T16:13:00.000+10:00

Haven't blogged for ages.
Wonder why? Too Lazy maybe.

It's nearly the end of one semester.
Life has been pretty alright for me. Got a part time job at my boyfriend's shop. At least,some money have been coming into my pockets lately.

Today, I just had my Indonesia oral. It went pretty alright, but I was too nervous. I'm glad it's all done and over with.

*HOORAY*

Now........................I have to study for my Management and Business Info System!

*I'm gonna watch some tv and surf some webbies first :)* LoL

2007-04-12T15:33:00.000+10:00

I have my latest crush on Gary Chao Ge. His voice is amazing and always melts my heart when he start singing. There's so much emotions in his songs, be it mandarin or english! Those who have never heard his songs, you should. I've seen clips in youtube with him in it...omg he is so shy..I thought he was gay but apparently he's not.
I'm a big fan of singers that can actually sing. There are so many boy groups or girl groups, but how many of those can really sing? I love Wang Lee Hong too...omg he's so gorgeous. Farenheit has been the lastest popular taiwan boy band, but their singing, for me I think is just so so! When they first came out, I thought they were hot, well they still are, but it's not enough to push me to spend money getting their albums. I guess..I'm really attracted to guys that have the actual talent to sing,write,act because most of the male chinese singers i really like, are those who can sing,compose their own songs. To me, if their looks are just average looking, but they have that inner talent , I will probably go crazy over them. * Wang lee hong has both the looks and talents. And even though he was born in America, he has a deep knowledge of his own cultural background. That willingness to learn, and to understand about his roots..is such an attractive trait.

I dislike people, especially asian americans or asian watever wannabes who grew up in other countries, who think they are better than anyone and feel ashamed of their own cultural background! No matter how you try to act /behave/imitate, if you deny your own race of origin, what would be left of you? The funny thing is some asians must have totally forgotten their own race, ganging up with other races to discriminate their own?? It makes no sense to me, I just don't understand it! Well I havent seen it for myself, but I'm sure those minorities exist and they can stay lost in their own little confused identity!

..........................................................................................................................................................

lucky me

2007-04-05T10:26:00.000+10:00

Just when I thought, I would never see my precious wallet and everything in it, a phone call from the police ...makes my day.

An old woman had picked up my bag on the road, and handed it in to the police. I am a lucky person. $230 was in my wallet, along with my credit card, bank card, drivers' licence and house keys. If there was $230 in a wallet that you've found, would you be tempted to take the cash and dumped the wallet into a trash can? What are the chances of losing your handbag, with cash in it and getting it back with everything intact? I was so touched, I was speechless. I was expecting just my wallet to be returned, not the cash.

I am lucky, that my handbag falls into the hands of a kind and honest woman. But...how could anyone lose their handbag, without knowing? I mean I've heard people losing their wallets...but I lost my whole handbag. It just slips off my shoulder.

I should really thanked this lady. She just reminded me that despite everything that is going on in the world, there are still people who are honest and kind and miracles do happen.
And of course, I have to thank God because he heard my cries and he gave me the answer that I've long to hear the following day. I lost my bag on Tues and got it back the next day.

But i have to be careful, the next time I lose my handbag, might fall into the hands of someone who is not as honest as this lady.

I am truly, really lucky, that at the time of my need...it seems there are always angels helping me! But on the other hand..I am a really careless person..last time it was 600 bucks, luckily bf found it for me.., I've dropped my wallet on a bench i was sitting on and another honest old man came after me to give it back to me, then there was me dropping wallet on the floor and someone ran after me to give it back...and this time I've lost my whole handbag....and out of everyone that was on the streets, it falls into the hands of this honest and kind lady...

I am so lucky but luck always runs out, so i'm gonna be more careful this time....

:) I'm happy!

Crappy day

2007-04-03T17:03:00.000+10:00

.........Am I a person who is lucky all the time, definitely NOT.. Last time, at crown, when it was JayJ bday..i've almost lost 600 bucks. I've kept those cash in a red packet, apparently I've dropped it at the side of his car..and luckily he found my cash.

Today, I lost my whole handbag with my wallet inside. The worst thing, was I've just drawn money from the bank before I lost my handbag. $230 bucks in it, along with my bank card, credit card, driver's licence, student card, 2 free movie vouchers and my house keys. >.< My driver's licence has my address on it, and my house key is free to anyone who has stolen or picked up my bag to enter. I have no clue, how I lost my bag. I'm not sure if I've dropped it on the ground and someone picked it up or if someone just literally took the bag off me. It's a small handbag and as my boyfriend has said, I'm a careless and a lostie. Even when someone is trying to steal something from me, I wouldn't even notice it. *sigh* The security guard checked the video tape, apparently I still had my bag in Century City walk shopping centre, I must have dropped it or someone might have stolen it outside the complex. I'M so unLucky.,,,,,,,,,

And the wallet is a gift from my god bro.. >.< I want my wallet, keys and drivers' licence BACK!!!
Take the cash...return the rest to MOIIIIIIIIII

*SOb soB!*
why why WHY ME?
Din even get to see movie with my bf today.................................................

.........................Spend my cash wisely, to the person who picked up my bag,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Just return my,drivers'license, keys and the wallet...U can keep the handbag
if u wish.......Pls send it back to me........................

Wy

Study

2007-04-01T12:04:00.000+10:00

....Time passed so quickly...It's now April...Two more months before the dreaded examinations starts. But at least, my business info system exams will all be in multiple choice questions. So even, if I don't know the answer...I still have the choice of randomly choosing one and if i'm lucky enough I might even get it right. On the other hand..management is all about writing essays...grrr
Out of all my subjects this semester., biz info, management,visual arts and Indo..I think I've enjoyed Indo the most. There are so many other languages I want to pick up..but it's pretty hard to be fluent in langauges unless you've someone to converse with...

*sigh* I'm still not sure where I'm heading? Even though I have started Uni, yet I'm still lost lost lost. It seems as though, everyone has a reason to be doing arts/commerce or a goal to pursue. Yet I'm just doing for the sake of getting a stable job in the future. I don't think that reason is good enough for me. But somehow...I feel as though this is part of my journey towards achieving my dreams. You can't just have a creative mind to get into fashion, I need more business oriented mind.....................go go go!

How's everyone been with school and work lately? Good?
For me, I have to really get serious in my studies no matter how much I hate it. Two months might seem a fair amount of time before exam starts but time flies sooner than you actually thought it would. So I guess, it's good to start preparing earlier than later :) I have to get into *study mode* Call me a nerd if you want to ^^I'm happy to be one until graduation and we'll see who gets the last laugh!! LoL

sO for those who are studying....get serious and work hard!!!!!!!!! And for those who are working..look forward to your next paycheck...... :P

Alriteys goNna end here...
WyWy

friends

2007-03-15T19:49:00.000+11:00

You can be surrounded with a large group of people and call them friends.
But how many of those can you trust, to be there, when you need help, be it financially, emotionally, mentally or spritually?
You are lucky, if you can find 1 true friend out of perhaps a 10 or sometimes maybe even more. A friend that understands you,loves you for who you are, bring out the best in you, not afraid to tell you off when they need to and most importantly you can find them there when you need them most.
It's not the quantity that counts but the quality. Some people just don;t understand the value of friendships. They consider every people they meet, just another number added to their list. What's the point, of surrounding yourselves with people, that don't appreciate you , are you trying to win a popularity contest or what? What happens after you've won ?

I don't make friends easy, and if people are not willing to be friends with me, that's fine with me. After all, there's no such rule that everyone has to like you, to make you a worthy person. I used to think that, there must be something wrong with me, when a friendship goes wrong or it just doesn't start the way I want it to be. But I guess i was wrong , having those thoughts. Now I realised, that they are the ones losing out .

But thank God, that he sent 3 angels into my life. 3 different types of angels. We've known each other for almost 8 years. Even though far apart, but always be in my heart. Even when we are leading different lives now, but our memories will always bind us together. Thinking back our sec sch lives were pretty dramatic, the way we fought , laugh and cried. Pretty embarrassing but it was a phase we had to go through, amazing how 4 of us stayed together throughout those years. But no matter what, you guys are irreplaceable and if it was to be asked, how close would i allow another friendship to get near my heart, answer would be, you have to get through 3 angels to come near my heart. which 3? The Education Department/Deep greenForest, The Information Technology Department/casual Loo- Executive and Bitching/Marketing /marriage Department. Sounds easy, but nooo.

I've learnt, that even though it hurts when you find out people don't feel the same way u do, it does not mean you've to treat them any lesser that what you;ve been treating them.
Sometimes, it's the giving process, that makes everything interesting.

And my 2 other special angels.. Julie and Tam
Even though I've known you guys for..less than a year..but I'm so happy to have met u.
Your stories touches me, your strength encourages me, your determination inspires me and your appreciation of everything big or small, just overwhelms me with so much joy.
Even when life is unfair to both of you, u guys, just...never give up and even embrace life with such graciousness. Both of you've made me see life in a different way, and i've become more appreciative because it was both of u who taught me two of the most important lessons in life, Appreciation and gratitude.

Thanks for everything Angels.
If there was a phrase that I could use, to describe how you 5 angels changed my life
it would be none other then

You've released the Angel inside the Devil, and it would be extremely impossible for u to accomplished for the *real Devil* LoL but either way I feel so angelic now..lol
* heavenly heavenly skies here I come* lol

When you are surrounded by angels, it's hard not to act like one!!

To Gelly and Jo

2007-03-13T16:13:00.000+11:00

Gelly and Jo

Do not be discouraged by the obstacles that are standing in your way. Different countries have different education systems. Singapore's education system, is so much tougher than in Aus, they push you so hard, you don't even get a chance to breathe for a moment. But that pushing, in someway actually helps you to be more focused on your schoolwork. In Aus, uni is more about independant learning. Not many rules. My eyes and brain lit up, when the lecturer says it's not compulsory to attend lectures and tutes. Is that a good thing, I don't think so. It's just the start of the year and i'm already looking for excuses to be lazy.

Either by hecs or bank loan..at the end of the day, Uni fees have to be repaid. Singapore can't afford a hecs system because it is a small dotty country, small population = small amount of tax payer's cash unlike Australia. It is a huge country, big population = loads of tax payer money and the government is rich enough to offer a hecs system to students.

There are always pros and cons of studying in different countries. You'll be unhappy when comparing the system in singapore to the one your heart desires for because more then often, it never gets fulfilled.But when you try to look through the eyes of a child in Africa who is thirsting for knowledge but havent got the resources to learn or a child in China who wants to go to school, but no school is available, you'll realised that you've gotten everything they long for. Being able to get your basic education from kindergarden, then to primary, on to secondary, then to poly, finished poly. Don't you think that, even though you might not be able to do the course you want now or able to afford uni fees in sg..for now, you are still a lucky person?

Even though,..fees might be too expensive now or you can't get into the course for now..your education resources are always there.

So cHeeR up gurLs...dON'T frown..look at the wrinkles..showing..Lol

P.S I'm not having so much fun in Uni..Over here, it feels like, "You do, you'll pass,You don't, you fail, no one gives a damn! No idea what my assignment is talking about and itz due on Mon 19march......There's so much freedom over here, too much freedom to be lazy to get lazy..And then the next thing u noe,,ur slacking behind and soon you're just another Uni drop out.

i dunnnnnn wan to be a drop out.

LOVE
WY

HaPpi V day to Everyone

2007-02-14T13:38:00.000+11:00

....Happi V day !

Overall it was one of the best V dayz I had...
Thanks baby, for waking up so early in the morning to go to Chaddy to get my prezzies. I did not see that coming, as we both said that this V day, we shall make something for each other without spending too much money.. you made something very special for me and even spent money getting prezzies for moi...I really do appreciate it. But the best thing, about today, was the long talk we had in our room. It gave me a deeper understanding about how you feel for me, and how much i meant to you. Vday is about acknowleging each other's love. And throughout the talk we had, i saw a side of you, that you don't often show and i'm so happy you've opened up to me.I've never realised how much you've done for me and how unappreciative i've been towards you. BB...i'm going to learn how to be more appreciative and not take you for granted..This is our third Vday together.... :) I hope we'll be able to spend many more Valentines Day together...

lubz u..muaksiii
laopo
WyWY

SchoOl is starting

2007-02-11T21:02:00.000+11:00

....sChool is starting omg....

I can't believe it.... >.< I'm not even sure if i should be happy or not. 4 years of study...but I'm gOnna study hard..and not gonna give up this time. WisH me luck!!!

To Tam and Julie
Schoolz starting real sOon...^^ Holidayz over..... Let's work hard!!! We'll probably work hard for the first few weeks..and then slack off......

I've been bumming for quite a long period of time, it's time I should start doing some work...I hope everything goes well for both of you...keke....

For me, i've to start learning to be more organised, or I'm never ever gonna graduate from my course.

:)

queensland trip

2007-02-07T13:30:00.000+11:00

Back from Queensland.

It was a wonderful trip for me, spending time with my JJ, his bro and one of my sis. Even though weather forecast has stated that there will be thunderstorms, and showers during the time we were there, but we were lucky. Thank God, none of those occured thus we were able to have lots of fun at the theme parks and the markets.
JJ and his brother, were totally freaked out, when we were at dreamworld and movieworld. The rides were so much scarier than we actually thought they were. We sat Scooby doo, it was hilarious, because JJ and his brother were screaming louder than me and my sis were. I guess they were, really frightened. But J brother, was the braver one, for the first day at movie world. I was pretty mad, at JJ because I don't see the point for us to spend the money, when both of them, are not willing to ride the rides. But i guess, everyone has their own fears, and if i was forced to, face my inner fears, I wouldn't be feeling really happy at all unless I was willing to. But I was pretty proud of my JJ, when he offered to take a last ride on scobby doo with us, even though the second time, was still scary for him. I have a fear of height, but I love roller coasters. But there's a limit in everyone's heart, in which rides they are ok to ride on. My limit is definitely Lethal Weapon. I'm never going on it EVER again, despite my loves of roller coasters.
It was * horrifying painful * Wetn wild was fun...despite the fact that all of us got a free *tanning session* and everyone got sunburnt. It was a cloudy day, and my JJ told us that there was no need for sunscreen. He was pretty damn wrong. My pretty fair skin..turned tanned. Not a good thing! JJ was suprisingly brave on that day, all of us sat on most of the rides. I still don't get it, he's not a very good swimmer, but he is brave enough to sit on most of the rides. But it was the climbing up of stairs, that all of us were afraid of. It was windy at the top and we were holding large circle tubes. J and his brother probably thought the wind was gonna blow them away.
All of us probably agreed the fourth day at dreamworld was probably the best. There were kids rides, fun rides, white tigers, wildlife...
J and his brother...Andrew..finally conquered the fear of rollercoasters, not entirely but it's a good start. We went on the kid's version of lethal weapon *hahahhaha* Not that scary for me and my sis, but it was a huge step for them. *clapclapclap* me and my sis sat on Cyclone..omg I did not see the 2 360 degrees circles coming, first it went clockwise 360 and then 360 anti clockwise..i was screaming till saliva was drooping down my chin.* i love this ride*...
i skipped out on THE CLAW...i should have sat on that ride >.<
On the fifth day, we just went to the Sunday market..but it was huge...there were about 500 stalls... The apartment we lived in, when we first came, the outside weren't that attractive, but surprisingly it was very neat and clean. Oven, washing machine, tumble dryer, cooking pots, pans..plates...cups..everything was available....The beach was just across the road...I'm missing the apartment we lived in It was so cosy and comfy...awwww

To save money..JJ suggested we get ingredients to cook. JJ was the chef.. This trip just makes me appreciates Jj even more. Even though, we have to have at least one fight almost everyday we were there, but it was the simple things he does for all of us..that makes me melt. We were too bz,enjoying our days there that we forgot to wish each other a Happy 29th mth anniversary on the 2nd lol..but we did few days later....
Awwwwww my cute JJ..

OVERALL...........IT WAS SIMPLY A WONDERFUL, FUN AND RELAXING 6 DAYS 5 NIGHTS HOLIDAY :) looking forward to the next one...............:P

love

2007-01-29T16:47:00.000+11:00

yAy..finally
Going to Queensland on Wed. It's my second time to gold coast, can't wait to go to the theme parks... Soo excited.. Hopefully everything will go as we planned...and the weather will be good.

1 more dae :)

BB.. i've learnt that love need not always be expressed in words

Words can't describe our love, because there is a limit, to every word and it's meaning and i'm not going to limit our love with words.

Our love, can't be written down on a piece of paper rather it is shown on our faces, when we are together

Even though you're not the type of guy who knows how to write sweet love letter/poems or do romantic things, but it does not mean that you will love me less, than a guy that is good at it.

On the other hand, :P i think i'll feel the romance more, when you do it once in a long while, rather then being put on a romance mode 24hours a day, then nothing will feel so special .

As we get older, our expectations of love tends to get lower but more realistic. When I was young, i used to think that love was all about poems, gifts, flowers, prince charming riding a white horse, chocolates, love letters... but i realised , love that can stay strong without all these romantic gestures , have more value then love that needs those romantic gestures to remain strong.

Sometimes, it's only when you lower the expectations you already have, then you will realise what treasure you've already inherit.

Frustrated

2007-01-14T14:20:00.000+11:00

There are so many unknowns
You are one of them
I used to think, everyday would be a bless
if you spend every hour every minute of everyday with me
But i guess distance actually makes the heart fonder
No distance, makes it harder for me to breathe
I'm sorry, if i showed it all on my face
0r even in the tone of voice I choose to use
I'm frustrated with the person i've become,
now that you have all the time in the world to spend with me.
I'm feeling kind of selfish, I wished you start working soon..
But humans, are never easily satisfied...
I admit I'm one of those sinful humans too.
I should start appreciating each and every moment with you,
for these treasured moments, we will not be able to share as often
when you start working soon.

New Year

2007-01-09T18:23:00.000+11:00

Time passes so quickly. A new beginning , a new chapter, a new chance.

................I have to start implementing changes in my lifestyle and start enforcing my own personal rules.

Some changes to be made

x keeping my room neat and tidy
x get rid of the lazy bug
x work hard and be organised
x learn to socialise and open up to people
x working hard on my confidence level
x learn some cooking
x start driving
x get a part time job
x eat healthy and exercise

There are so many changes i need to make, I'm not sure if i will do any .

Biggest change i need to make is x Do what I've said I'll do

2006-11-28T20:27:00.000+11:00

Sometimes. ..life can be so cruel, but even so, we still try our best to hang on, and live for that one hope. It makes, me sad, to see bad things happening to people who deserve so much more, yet my ability to do more for them is, indeed limited. But i believe, that when God, takes away one part of you, he makes another part complete.. Even when it's one part, we don;t necessarily think, it needs completion, but life has it's own plan for you.

We, humans, runs this world, we are living in. We seem so invincible compared to other creatures on earth, but beyond everything, we are still very fragile. Our soul, can make us complete and strong but it can also leaves us shattered and weak. No matter how life treats you, do not let your soul be shattered. Being able to breathe keeps you alive, having a soul that loves life and fight for life, makes you more alive then you ever know. There is no reason to be still breathing just to keep you alive, when the soul inside of you, has given up on life.

Life is too short, to be dwelling about the past, about your current situation because time will never stop for you neither will it turn back for anyone of us. It's hard, trying to be happy, when the past and other troubles..you are facing...just constantly appears in your head...and happiness, can seem so far and complicated....but when you look closely around you, you can find happiness, even in the simplest form. Trying to be happy, wanting to be happy, knowing you deserved to be happy.........there's nothing more important than that.

Tam,
life hasn;t been fair on you and people have let you down. But don't give up hope especially not now. Fight for what you deserved, even when you know it might not change the outcome, but give it your best shot. You, have a gf that loves u, and friends that care for you. Forgive yourself, it's hard but it's only when you let go of those guilt, then you can be happy, or do you not want to be happy ? would u feel guilty, if you let go of those guilt and be happy? I really hope,,,you walk out of it soon, because if you can;t move forward, would your sister be happy the next time she looks into your eyes? i;ve been there, trying to forget the hurt..but everytime i look into the eyes, of those who caused me so much pain, I see their guilt in their eyes..and it just brings all the pain back. I really hope one day, you can smile freely once again.

Gelly, Jo, May
We've been friends most of our lives...counting back..itz almost 9 years now..i;m so grateful for your friendships...and even though May is happily married now...I hope we remain close friends forever...*hugs* Memorable times * Gelly + May fighting and crying for Ryan on my bday*
* Gelly gets the chance to talk to the plants* * Taking da bus home together* and loads more..
LOVE YA tatah

2006-11-26T16:45:00.000+11:00

..............*Fate, brings people together in the most unexpected ways.".................

I believe, God places..certain people at a certain time...in your life, for a reason. My self-esteem and confidence..reached the bottom pitt this year. For the first half of the year, all i did was laze around. Kinda, feels good at the start not having to get up early to go to school, or listening to boring lectures...But the boredom, from lazing around and not having a purpose in life gets your confidence and self-esteem going so low, sooner then you thought would happened.

Enroling into the course, was a last minute decision and it was the last thing on my mind. Yet, it only takes, those few minutes or seconds..for the person who is typing this entry out...to find her way back School, has always been a tortue for me, yet I've learnt so much in this past 4 months.
Even though, everyone in my class have their own personal problems, and difficulties...they've never stopped encouraging each other. Even, though it has only been 4months of school, I thank God for bringing us together , for the chance to be able to be touched by the presence and words, of each other.

For me, I guess i've opened up myself a little. Facing my biggest fear, Conquering it, was something i never thought i could do and i would have never been able , if no one had encourages me, telling me I can do it, or if i never been inspired by those who gave their all, when they did their presentation. I'm thankful for that.

Now, as I start the next chapter of my life....I'll use everything i've learnt, to write my story that is waiting to happen. I'm gonna try my best and aim to improve my self-confidence ...everyday. Thanks everyone, for these 4 months...........

It did make a difference in my life.

2006-10-24T20:06:00.000+10:00

--- Where am I heading? -----

This question frequently pop up in my head. My answer is ___________blank__________

Omg! I hate this feeling. How do you figure out, what you are meant to do, what career you should

pursue. I'm at a crossroad... should I, just go to uni, finished my degree, and eventually a job will

be waiting for you at the end. or doing what I love best, venturing into the unknown, puruing

my dreams, yet the likelihood of getting a job at the end, depends on your luck, your talent,

being at the right place at the right time. There are so many times in my life, I tell myself " i

should, have done that, or say this. " I hate it. I hate regrets, things that I could have achieve

yet did not have enough courage to go for it. I know, that, it is only when you are doing the

things you love best, then you would most likely, to put your heart and soul into it.

but back to reality, fashion design, is all about talent and luck. You might put in as much

effort, in learning all the skills,but at the end of the day, it is what God bless you with, that

would help you to achieve your dreams. This is a competitive industry. I'm not

a competitive person, I just want to do, the things I love doing.

I know that, once i finish my 4 years of uni, start working, I might never get a chance again
to actually do the course I want to do....

I have so many regrets in my life, but i know deep inside, giving up fashion design, would be the biggest regret of my life. Everyone's born with a certain passion burning within them, they are blessed with certain gifts and talent from God, I've been hiding it for so long, using so many realistic thinkings to compress the burning flame inside me, now I just can't compress it any longer.

It is so hard, but it is harder choosing to give up your passion, without giving it a go.

2006-09-13T12:23:00.000+10:00

Learning to be assertive- it's not about getting your way all the time, But standing for what you believe in, communicating your point to others without using aggressive behaviour, and being able to say no , or yes to people.

I tend to be a more passive person. A person, that will go with the flow, and in every situations i've faced in my life, i tend to be the sheep, not the sheperd. Saying yes when I mean no, smiling even when I'm hurting or frustrated. It gets on my nerves sometimes, how passive I can be. And the fact, that when i have an opinion about something, I'll not speak up and let others have their say, and mine would just silently slip away. I'm always afraid of everything.

I'm scared of, being laughed at when I did something silly
I'm scared, about facing the real world, where people can show their cruelty in such artistic ways, yet get away with it.
I'm scared that what I'm trying to say, would not make sense.
I'm scared of public speaking
I'm scared , of people talking to me. To avoid, this..i analyse everyone around me, and just ignore people, who are most likely to talk to me.
This list goes on and on...

It will never stop, unless I take charge of my life. I can keep on blaming myself, and hoping to be more confident and assertive, or I can start learning to be more confident and assertive and start loving myself as an individual.

I can never be someone other then me, that someone can never be me.
I have the right, to ask, to be heard, to fight for what I believe in, to laugh, to cry, to make mistakes.
To fight hard to achieve my dream, and even if i've failed once, I have the right to try it again, again and again.

Others can help you along your way, but the path to your dreams is yours to create.
My 20 years of life, I've depended on everyone, to give me what I need. They can give me everything i've ever needed, but I know, they can't give me my dream.

It is only when, I no one else but I start taking the first step, then my dream would start to come true
The first step is the hardest, but it gets easier.

Start living your life, Wylyn.. constantly waiting for others to give you answers or cleaning up your mess is not going to take u anywhere. Believe in who you are, believe in your dreams. Take the focus off yourself, and focus on where your passion lies. And most importantly, take responsibility for every decision you've made and the consequences that would follow.

It is ok, if someone doesn't like you. It is ok if you don't like someone. You have the right to like or dislike someone,as much as they have the right to like or dislike you. if you live your life, hoping everyone will like you AS A PERSON, then you are on your way to self destruction.

You will soon start a long journey of self-doubt, seeking for answers, to why no matter what you do, this person never seems to be able to like you.

Are you going to hate yourself, for every person that dislikes you?
Or are you going, to brush it off, and tell yourself, that it's ok, I don't have to like them back.

No one can tells you how worthy or unworthy you are as a person, unless it is God himself.

You look in your mirror , and u see a ugly duckling.
He looks at you, and sees a beautiful swan .

2006-08-15T12:18:00.000+10:00

" Don't believe in what the bottle can hold, but what is inside the bottle"

The church itself, is nothing without Jesus in it. Like the church, we are nothing but empty human vessels, if we don't have Jesus in our lives. It is he, who works through us. Without him, we are nothing.

Sunday's message was good. It just makes me realises that, going to church, would not solve any of our problems. We should not put our faith in ourselves, the pastors,people at church or the church. They are just empty human vessels , if God is not working through them,they are like us, nothing. we should put our faith in God. He is the solution and answer to every problems we may faced in our lives.

The pastor said that the church, did not make a promise to you, God did. So when we go to a church, and after the session, you think that it did not work for you, it did not give you the answers to your problems, well there is nothing wrong with the church. The church is built to be inefficient as it should be. It is only, when you go to Jesus, that you would find your answers, it is when you have faith, then miracles would happen. There is nothing wrong with the church, it is your faith.

Sometimes, in life, we tend to look upon our own abilities, to see if we can achieve, the things we want to do. But, many a times, this is how we fail. We, analyse what we can or can't do, but we do not put our faith in God, that he can perform miracles.

The comforting thing is, we do not need great faith to do great things. We just need to believe, even faith of the size of a mustard seed, is enough, for God to work through u.

I have to learn to have faith, that no matter how big a problem, i may face in my life, i just have to turn and believe in him. For, if I try to solve it on my own, I would certainly fail. A human's abilities is limited, but God's abilities are limitless.

so if Jo, and gel...you are facing, problems in ur life, people you dislike...don't try searching for a solution on your own, ask God and believe in him. Let go and let him take control.

If you believe, you will see the miracles that will soon be unfold in your lives

2006-08-02T20:27:00.000+10:00

Yesterday I turned 20.

Today, is JJ & Wy's 23rd month anniversary.

Happi Happi 23rd anniversary....

Emptiness ....................

feeling so empty now ...................................

我愛你

2006-07-31T17:55:00.000+10:00

Yesterday's message in church was forgiveness. Forgiveness sets you free, from all your anger and hatred that have been constantly building up inside you. It is easy to say you've forgiven someone, but to actually forgive someone who have hurt you deeply, be it in friendships, love,family, it is so much harder then what you think.

Unforgiveness, is locking yourself in a cage, hiding the key in your own pockets, yelling for someout to let you out, when you who holds the key, could just use the key and free yourself from that cage.

Jesus ( the forgiver), adulteress( the forgiven), Pharisees ( the acusers)
where do we stand today, in our lives?

Are we condemning people, and throwing people at Jesus feet, when we are sinners ourselves?
Are we, the adulteress, who have sinned, yet were not condemn by the only person who could determine our life and death?
Are we like Jesus, forgiving and loving towards, others even those who have hurt us deep ?

if Jesus, did not condemn us, when we as sinners deserved it, what right do we have, to condemn others that have done wrong in their lives.

It is easy, to proclaim you are a christian, yet what have we done, to show others that Jesus lives in us. What can we do to show the world, that Jesus is in your heart?

It is easy to love and trust God when things are going good for you, but when things get bad, you tend to complain and doubt what God actually is doing for you.

No one can tell me, he is not there, for I know that he is right here in my heart.

I have to learn, the word "forgiveness", the word "love" and learn to say the phrase "neither do i condemn you."

Happiness, is when I have you in my life, for without , there would be an emptiness in me, which nothing and no one can ever fill.

2006-07-26T17:36:00.000+10:00

Lonely, I'm so Lonely,,

My Birthday always falls on the week days. People would either be schooling or busy working. While poor me, will not be schooling nor will i be working.

Hopefully, the factory where i work last week would call me up on tues. Then I would not feel so lonely. I love that job in the factory. Even though work starts at early 7.15am and ends at 4pm, but I had fun, packing those pretty jewelleries. It pays pretty good, 18 bucks an hour.

This week, no one called me up. No work for me , this week.

I'm turning 20 soon.
20= too old

Happi Birthday To Me.

2006-07-18T17:44:00.000+10:00

Gelly has arrived in aus. YingYing has arrived in melbourne, and currently living in carlton.
Gelly is all the way in Perth, isnt it the same thing as when she lives in sg and I in aus.

I hope that they would be able to settle in comfortably.

Should I take nursing course or the education course.

Nursing and Teaching

are not for the weak hearted.

You must have high level abuse tolerance ,withstanding abuse, mentally, physically, emotionally.

Ain't that true.

Even though I've try to convince myself , that teaching suits me better, the hours are fixed and you don't have to do shifts or clean up someone's mess.

Yet my heart, seems to be saying " Are you sure this is what you want?"

I guess, my heart belongs to nursing still. LoL

But eveytime i look at the list of vaccination i have to take, *faints* *faints* *faints* for every single vaccination.

I guess, God will give me an answer, and he will give me wisdom to make the right choice if i ask.

..........................with God's help, I can slay any GIANTS situation that i will face in my life...............

2006-07-08T20:43:00.000+10:00

sometimes, it feels like we are drifting apart.

Friends Forever, is nothing but empty words if there is no sincerity given, by the person who said it.

My parents used to say, that the only best friend in the world , you can have..is yourself. I used to fight back, take my stand, telling them ,that there would always be some friendships that stay strong and withstand against the odds.

My parents just keept saying " Just you wait. When they have a bf, get married, have kids,comparing yourself to all that, where does your friendship stand in their lives?"

I guess my parents are right.
Yet a part of me, just sincerely hope, that I can prove them wrong.

Are all friendships, that fragile and easily broken down?

Best friends..
what is a best friend?

I know ...
I have best friends..

But what is the precise definition of best friends?

2006-06-18T22:51:00.000+10:00

It's been a while since I've stepped into a church.
Today, I've decided to go to church.

why?

Because it's a promise with the big guy up above.
I told him ages ago, that if he would get me through the group interview, i would go to church once.

Even though, i did not get the job, I knew I had to fulfill my promise.
Somehow,he kept reminding me about our promise.
if it weren't for him, i would not even make it through the first round of interview.

I went to church with my sister
It was an awesome church. It is a cool church, live music, rock band and stuff
Everyone was singing and dancing and jumping.

I was touched by their passion and love for the big guy.

Today's message was great

It was about smelling,sensing,hearing,touching,seeing,tasting like Jesus
It ain't about copying Jesus but letting others see that Jesus is in you.

It ain;t about smelling the "stink" in people but understanding the source of the stink and looking beyond it.
It ain't about hearing the bad things about people,but hearing the cries of their soul.

What would Jesus do

in any situation in your life today?

I'm glad, I did go to church today.

2006-06-13T18:20:00.000+10:00

"

my dream bedroom

2006-05-30T11:54:00.000+10:00

Humans are greedy.

We keep on
pursing for perfections, in the way we look and dress yet tend to oversee and take for granted those abilities that make us human.

E.g
I'm/i've- too fat -----Be grateful, for the weight that you've gained, many ppl who are anorexic wished to have that amount of weight, to be healthy. Be grateful, that you can call urself fat, many others in the world, will never get to say that word, because they've been starving their whole life.
-too ugly
Be grateful for the way you look, ugly or beautiful it's not for you to say. Be contented with what you look like, because it's what makes you special and different from everyone else.
-too short
Be grateful, that you are short, having short legs, is better than having deformed or no legs.
-too tall
Be grateful you are taller than the rest, you've the height that most people long for their whole life
-small boobs
Be grateful for the small boobs, Stop complaining, think about those who are going through breast cancer
-too many scars
Be grateful, to be able to see and count the number of scars on your body. Some people never get their chance to see and count.
-big tummy
Be grateful for the meals that have kept your tummy growing. A bit of exercise will help you get the flaps off, but even so, be grateful, that you have those flaps.

-big nose
Be grateful, you are able to breathe on your own. Think of those on the respiratory system

- ugly legs, hands
Be grateful, you have legs and hands that can function. They might not be perfect, but be grateful
-hairy
Don't complain of being hairy, some people wear wigs all their lives.

I am one of the many people who would complain and whinge about why I wasn't born to look like her or why can't my body be like that?

I guess we are too blinded by the thought of being perfect, that we overlooked what makes us special...

2006-05-29T17:02:00.000+10:00

My application was unsuccessful.

That's what i've expected, but a lil part of me really hope that I would get the job.

I'm so disappointed in myself.

I knew i could have done better.

So sick and tired of staying at home , and being so freakin bored.

None of the jobs that i've applied for, have been successful.

Yet i guess, i'm still grateful for the experience that i've went through.

First ever, group interview.

Who knows, down the track, I might be reconsidered for a team member position.

Yes, look on the bright sight!

Just finished watching 1 litre of tears. * makes you wanna cry throughout the movie *

I'm thankful, that the disease did not chose me.

2006-05-25T17:15:00.000+10:00

+ I'm so happy for one of my bestie Jo. She got through that interview and was given 1and 1/2 year contract to teach whilst receiving training.+

She got her ass right into the Education World. *cOngrats bub* Now you can start working your way up.

For me, i guess i blew my chance of getting a job at krispy kreme. If i was the boss of a customer service based company, and one of my candidates expresses her dislike in dealing with rude customers, her application would be thrown immediately into the " Not a chance, this person is getting a job at my company"piles.

>.< I can't stop blaming myself for what i've said.

Krispykreme sells great doughnut.

I've locked myself in the garage twice. Yesterday i waited about10-15 minutes,hoping my dad would not take his time picking my sister up. This morning, while trying to coax my new bunni hunni, out of the garage, I accidentally closed the door behind me. Great start to a brand new day! >.< I hadn't had my breakfast then.

Well if i did not fiddle with that door knob [which is a habit i'm certainly going to get rid of], I would not be stuck in the garage for an hour talking to my bunny while doing my "How to get a great butt " exercise

I hoped and prayed that my dad would not be coming home at 5pm, because ..it was approximately 11am when i closed, shut,locked myself in the garage, with no mobile phone, no ways to contact the outside world...unless i start shouting like a maniac...which is the last, last resort I would do, when there's a fire or something that endangers my precious little life.

Otherwise I'll spare myself from all the embarrassment and just simply wait.

Lucky me, he came home about 12.30pm. How happy I was, to hear my dad parking his car, and the jingling, tingling sound of the house keys unlocking my home door.

Never felt so happy in my life >.<

What kind of person, would locked herself in her own garage ?

Wylyn Tan

2006-05-15T14:11:00.000+10:00

Maybe..what we both need is a break..

Woken up, by a sharp pain in my chest.
Itz you, itz you
Your the reason why it hurts so bad.
A break, we both might need
To sort out,to heal,To forgive,To Forget
Time is a double edged sword
which way it goes, we do not know
It might tear us apart, it might bring us closer
Either way, I'm taking my chances
I'm not going anywhere
I'm right here at the crossroad
Just taking a short little break
To prepare for the long journey ahead
which ever direction we might choose to go.

2006-05-15T13:56:00.000+10:00

Sat 13th May

Group interview KrispyKreme

I never thought i could make it through to the face to face interview..but i did. There were 900 applicants, that applied for Krispykreme team members. They shortlisted down to few hundred for a group interview, and wywy got through that group interview.

I went on to the one and one interview. I think I wreck it. One step so close to getting the job. The interviewer asked" What don;t you like about working?' And silly me said 'Meeting Rude customers" How dumb can that be. I hate myself.

But i'm happy that i got through the group interview. I was so nervous at the start..but i met someone i know at the interview, so it calmed me down. The group activity was fun.
I learnt alot about myself, after this interview.

I'm a pretty shy person, and to be able to do what i did at the group interview..was a pretty big challenge to me.

No matter if i did get the job or not, my mum said, it's the experience of going through this process that counts.

2006-05-10T15:40:00.000+10:00

Krispy Kreme group interview on Sat

*nervous*

I have not been to a group interview or even a proper interview before...

>.<

I need a part time job.

Hopez i can make it through, if not...I'll just continue finding another one

2006-05-10T14:50:00.000+10:00

I can see what you are trying to do to me

Behind that monitor of urs

I guess u make a fool out of me,once again

Why?

I gave u a chance

A little piece of me, maybe more

hoped that we could be friends

But u had to go ruin any chances we've left

I'm no fool of yours

Not a stepping stone for you to step on

To get what you want

If you think I;m still that weak,naive gurl you used to know

The gurl, who would do anything for you foolishly yet willingly

Herez two simple words "Fuck off"

God bless those who are close to you

I'm sure...there's someone out there doing everything they can for you

The sad thing is, you will never be satisfied.

The word "Appreciation" is one word, you will never truly understand.

2006-05-02T00:51:00.000+10:00

....I watch this show and it stated

that once u dream of ur ex, it means you have totally forgotten him.
How true can that actually be?

Happi 20months Anniversary JJ..*Lotsa kisses and cuddles for cha*

Received a msg from him. Glad to hear from him and hopta catch up sOon. Afterall,

i guess he is like an old friend to me.

I'm like a fool
Waiting for an answer
to a unknown question.
What kind of fool does that?
Da silliest fool.

2006-04-21T11:32:00.000+10:00

Your Heart Is Pink

In relationships, you like to play innocent - even though you aren't.
Each time you fall in love, it's like falling for the first time.

Your flirting style: Coy

Your lucky first date: Picnic in the park

Your dream lover: Is both caring and dominant

What you bring to relationships: Romance

What Color Heart Do You Have?

2006-04-16T17:18:00.000+10:00

Daddy's bday is coming soon

What should i get for him?

*+ ] Anyone out here know..how ta increase ur confidence, and self-esteem, tips please, my confidence and self esteem is soon reaching the bottom rocks ,of the deepest ocean . [ + *

Feeling............................

moody, ugly, and useless.

2006-03-18T19:28:00.000+11:00

+/Everionez graduated/+

Only me. What can i do. I'm so lost. This is so Lame. J had no day off today. Poor me, stuck at home once again. I'm bored, thus I'm blogging. hohohohhahahaha

mishing him.......*yawn* Hope ta see him tonite....

[ ok thatz it, i can't blog on anymore]

(>.<)

xxX sTuffXxX

2006-03-10T19:09:00.000+11:00

zx Jayz and May's bday is tomaro xX

Have not updated my blog for ages, i guess. Many things happen during this period of times. I would not want to mention the bad things that happen again. Well , the good things that have happened, is 2 of my friends got married. hehe! One of them has a lil baby in her tummy...how cute I can't wait to see her baby!

Yesterday i had a dream, he was in my dream again. I thought that I had gotten over him totally. I'm not sure now. Dreams can feel so real, the emotions that I used to have slowly appear once again. Maybe ..i have not move on at all. I just blocked out all those emotions i used to have for him, and accept this whole new set of emotions for another person.

*Sighz* Out of a sudden, i am missing him...oh wells...but nothing would happen again between him and me....Cherish what i have now..He's holding her hands now, and I'm holding Jz baob hands now....

But in my heart, there would always be a place for him, afterall i had once hoped that we would be together forever...................

1 yr 3 mths

2005-12-04T13:28:00.000+11:00

Been ages since i last blog...

Todayz ish Wy & J 1 yr 3mthz anniverary

Yay!

Sigh...My future is a total blank..a pitch of darkness. I'm not sure which direction I should procceed.

I don't have any ambitions or goals set out to achieve. My life is simply meaningless.

Whatz wrong with me??

Anniversary

2005-11-02T00:00:00.000+11:00

1 year and 2 months

Jay & Wy Anniversary. Lurve my darling hunni.

*WyWy sho happi, that i've found him*

Hunni has a day off on Sat, bringing me and my lil sish..go swimming and to the city.

*whoopee*My laogong , but he's pretty *up* himself, and I'm not sure why. Maybe itz because

of his sucking up skills, it seems my parents like him a lot.

Oh wells!

2005-09-23T18:42:00.000+10:00

愛情我難過你知道嗎
為何身邊的他不了解我
愛情我寂寞你明白嗎
想要他的一點時間比什麼都難
我式著努力辦好一個善解人意女朋友的角色
卻無法說服我那寂寞的心不要再寂寞
我自私我任性我不可理喻
但愛情﹐你什麼時候是理性的什麼時候是公平的

2005-09-13T18:40:00.000+10:00

+ My leg hurts like hell + i fell oon my knees yesterday..skin came off..*ouch ouch*

*sighz* Everything that happens in these last few weeks, passed as quickly as it came. Is that a

good thing or a bad thing, I'm not sure. I'll be alrite as long as Jayz here with wywyz.

First, the tsunami, then the London bombings,and after Hurricane Katherine..if God is love

why did he let those people die? Did all of them deserves the death sentence? I certainly do not

question the existence of God. He is everywhere. But why let all those bad things happen to

those people, so many lives lost. He could have saved them..he has the power to..Cries of help,

thousands and millions of prayers to God to keep them safe at that critical time, why did God

ignore their cries..I don't understand. One day, I might be in their shoes, who should i call out

for, then.

2005-08-18T16:34:00.000+10:00

why does thingz have to spread around? Why did i have to write it in friendster, forgetting the part where they would send a notifying email to every friend on my list when i update my blog...why am i that stupid?
My life is all in a mess right now. I've lost the only reason to stay on in this place. It was all my fault. But nothing can change anything now. I'm not sure what to do anymore.
I should just pack up and leave. But..somethingz holding me back..my friends, him ...

It is so hard to let go, even when you know deep inside, theres nothing left .. to let go of...

[ Emptiness ] [ Lost ] [ Sadness ] [ Anger ] [ Hate ] [ Confusion ] [Love ] [ Frustration ]

2005-08-13T11:32:00.000+10:00

....Last year, my grandma..passed away...this year my grandpa passed away.
I wished i could go back to attend his funeral...*sighz* my dad is in singapore rite now...
I miss my grandpa and grandma i hope they r happy where they are...and know that the three of us in aus..would be missing them very much....

2005-08-08T16:44:00.000+10:00

farkk...i won the auction..but now i realised that it could be a fake LV bag..

omg fark all those fakers..I'm not paying for it. I think therez a high chance of my bag being fake.

I'm not paying hundreds of dollars to carry around onE stupid fake lv bag, and many fakers

actually

wrote them as "AUTHENTIC lv bag" i guess itz all bullshit. Anyone know how to spot a fake LV

bag and the real one? damn i really like that bag..but if it is fake...no chance I'll buy it. if ur into

fakes ur into terrorism. (T_T) v

I wag sch today *sigh* i'm a bad gurl.....

2005-08-05T19:30:00.000+10:00

-----my whitegold necklace and ring----
by Jay
whatz the difference between white gold and silver?
it looks the same to me...

2005-08-05T18:55:00.000+10:00

lol...taking a picture through the mirror. moi veri silli SISZ..but hey it did not turn out that bad afterall....

2005-08-04T16:42:00.000+10:00

I'm not someone who would go for branded stuff..and I used to think that Lv bags and wallets...are very oldish and somewhat ugly. But aww Look at this bag..I love it..I'm gonna bid for it... The price now is 56dollars and...i predict it will go up till 500+ or maybe more...aww SHOULD i use my credit card and pay for it first lol...itz a very bad idea..buying something when you don't have cash for it yet. BUT i love this bag....

2005-08-01T10:33:00.000+10:00

*sigh*.. i told you bad thingz happens on or dayz before my bday. My dad crashed into the back of a car...one day before my bday.

Well JJ came in the morning to pick me up. He gave me this whitegold necklace and sishz gave me a pair of converse chuckers..which unfortunately itz too big for me. While in Jz car...J told me to get the map out of the carz..drawer lol i darno what it is...and there was another surprise for me. It was a white gold ring. awwwwwww I lurve it.

We met the gurlies Heang & leng and brucy at chaddy.. wE went bowling...playing 3 games...i got 3 full strikes..lol and my luck ran out. In the end..J won the first game..brucy won 2 games..

aFTA that we went to Glennie and had lunch....Brucy has to work after that and Hl had to go back home....so Jen J and wy go watch THE ISLAND....it wus good...
The doctor was playing God..giving lives and taking lives...evil man...

-Had dinna with mama dada sis sis...
me j ,jen and phil..go sing sing..but phi has no ID...coz shez not 18 yet..

My poor JJ had to drive her all the way to springy and pick maymay up..back to bh and sing..

We sang till 11.30...I have a sore throat .......but it wus fun..It wus the best bday i had in a long long time...

Fanks all my fwendxy..those who came..those who r not able to come..those who send me msgs,testi,emails and also fwendz across the world ^^

2005-07-31T10:57:00.000+10:00

yay...Tomoro issh my bday..

I hope nothing bad happens..*sigh* all ktvz open late...i wanna go sing sing..awwww
sad....but well we'll go bowling instead..that sounds fun too...kekek *excited excited* whooopee whoopee doo...wat did my J get me..wat did my sishtaz get me?

19 years old......
I'm old.

2005-07-28T12:00:00.000+10:00

....My sister told me that J spend quite a lot of money on my bday..around 500 or600..but she refused...to tell me what is da prezzie. I've always wanted a puppi..and 600 can certainly get a pup or mayb even 2 pups. But i've told J not to get me any animals..because my mind is set on adopting..when time is right. ( which is..when i have my own house because my mummi doesn't like animals) Itz nort fair..on the pup if i just buy it..and not tell my parents beforehand. I'll adopt a dog and a cat..in the future..^^ and i want them slping in my bedroom instead of the garage, the garden or living room. I'm so tempted to buy a pup..but I know itz not fair. The pup can't object or agree, itz fate is decided by the person who..bring it hm. I guess i have ta wait. Jj likes animals too..and if by chance we r still together in the future, both of us can..share the responsibilities of taking care of them.

*sigh* i wonda what did Jj AND my sistaz goT for me..J does't know it..but he's the best bday present I've ever received.

1st August-me birthday
2nd august- our 11 months anniversary..how cool is that

2005-07-26T12:50:00.000+10:00

tOday J has a half day off..he took my sisters to boxhill to have their hair cut...aww i'm so bored at hm..I wag sch today..hoping i could tag along with them..but they said No..because they r shopping for my bday prezzies...and thus here i am...blogging on and on about how bored i am..I have a dental appointment at 2 30..aww i hate going to the dentist.....

But i have to...*sighz* bettah go get changed..daddeez gonna drive me to the dentist..

i miss J..dat bum chump

sick

2005-07-22T18:17:00.000+10:00

I'm sick..i've got a flu and fever..

Lots of stuff happen today..I've just given him another reason to leave me..

My stubborness is wrecking everything as usual.

My birthday is coming up..no good stuff will happen on that day..it never has

it never will. I want to be happy bcoz my bday is coming soon..but..y shld i b happy

when...nothing good..has ever happened..[ excluding my birth into this world ]. oh wait a sec..

is that a good thing or a bad thing?

2005-07-22T18:06:00.000+10:00

my long hair...

The remains..of my long hair..

2005-07-17T12:25:00.000+10:00

Your Career Type: Artistic

You are expressive, original, and independent.
Your talents lie in your artistic abilities: creative writing, drama, crafts, music, or art.

You would make an excellent:

Actor - Art Teacher - Book Editor
Clothes Designer - Comedian - Composer
Dancer - DJ - Graphic Designer
Illustrator - Musician - Sculptor

The worst career options for you are conventional careers, like bank teller or secretary.

What's Your Ideal Career?

Worse career for me are secretary and bank teller..lol i'm in business admin..heading towards the secretarial..jobz..am i currently halfway heading to hell?

2005-07-15T16:26:00.000+10:00

I came across this essay on the spca page..it filled my eyes with tears..
It makes me realised how selfish humans can be..I was planning to get a puppy or a bunny..but i guess now..i will have adoption on my mind rather than buying..

herez the essay title "How could you"

Remember...They love UNCONDITIONALLY.....

When I was a puppy, I entertained you with my antics and made you laugh. You called me your child, and despite a number of chewed shoes and a couple of murdered throw pillows, I became your best friend.

Whenever I was "bad," you'd shake your finger at me and ask "How could you?" -- but then you'd relent and roll me over for a bellyrub. My housebreaking took a little longer than expected, because you were terribly busy, but we worked on that together.

I remember those nights of nuzzling you in bed and listening to your confidences and secret dreams, and I believed that life could not be any more perfect. We went for long walks and runs in the park, car rides,stops for ice cream (I only got the cone because "ice cream is bad for dogs" you said), and I took long naps in the sun waiting for you to come home at the end of the day.

Gradually, you began spending more time at work and on your career, and more time searching for a human mate. I waited for you patiently, comforted you through heartbreaks and disappointments, never chided you about bad decisions, and romped with glee at your homecomings, and when you fell in love.

She, now your wife, is not a "dog person" -- still I welcomed her into our home, tried to show her? affection, and obeyed her. I was happy because you were happy.

Then the human babies came along and I shared your excitement. I was fascinated by their pinkness, how they smelled, and I wanted to mother them, too. Only she and you worried that I might hurt them, and I spent most of my time banished to another room, or to a dog crate. Oh, how I wanted to love them, but I became a "prisoner of love."

As they began to grow, I became their friend. They clung to my fur and pulled themselves up on wobbly legs, poked fingers in my eyes, investigated my ears, and gave me kisses on my nose.loved everything about them and their touch -- because your touch was now so infrequent -- and I would've defended them with my life if need be. I would sneak into their beds and listen to their worries and secret dreams, and together we waited for the sound of your car in the driveway.

There had been a time, when others asked you if you had a dog, that you produced a photo of me from your wallet and told them stories about me. These past few years, you just answered "yes" and changed the subject. I had gone from being "your dog" to "just a dog," and you resented every expenditure on my behalf.

Now, you have a new career opportunity in another city, and you and they will be moving to an apartment that does not allow pets. You've made the right decision for your "family," but there was a time when I was your only family.

I was excited about the car ride until we arrived at the animal shelter. It smelled of dogs and cats, of fear, of hopelessness. You filled out the paperwork and said "I know you will find a good home for her." They shrugged and gave you a pained look. They understand the realities facing a middle-aged dog, even one with "papers."

You had to pry your son's fingers loose from my collar as he screamed "No, Daddy! Please don't let them take my dog!" And I worried for him, and what lessons you had just taught him about friendship and loyalty, about love and responsibility, and about respect for all life.

You gave me a good-bye pat on the head, avoided my eyes, and politely refused to take my collar and leash with you.You had a deadline to meet and now I have one, too.After you left, the two nice ladies said you probably knew about your upcoming move months ago and made no attempt to find me another good home. They shook their heads and asked "How could you?"

They are as attentive to us here in the shelter as their busy schedules allow. They feed us,of course, but I lost my appetite days ago.At first, whenever anyone passed my pen, I rushed to the front, hoping it was you that you had changed your mind -- that this was all a bad dream... or I hoped it would at least be someone who cared, anyone who might save me.

When I realized I could not compete with the frolicking for attention of happy puppies, oblivious to their own fate, I retreated to a far corner and waited. I heard her footsteps as she came for me at the end of the day, and I padded along the aisle after her to a separate room.

A blissfully quiet room. She placed me on the table and rubbed my ears, and told me not to worry. My heart pounded in anticipation of what was to come, but there was also a sense of relief. The prisoner of love had run out of days. As is my nature, I was more concerned about her. The burden which she bears weighs heavily on her, and I know that, the same way I knew your every mood.

She gently placed a tourniquet around my foreleg as a tear ran down her cheek. I licked her hand in the same way I used to comfort you so many years ago. She expertly slid the hypodermic needle into my vein. As I felt the sting and the cool liquid coursing through my body, I lay down sleepily, looked into her kind eyes and murmured "How could you?"

Perhaps because she understood my dogspeak, she said "I'm so sorry." She hugged me, and hurriedly explained it was her job to make sure I went to a better place, where I wouldn't be ignored or abused or abandoned, or have to fend for myself -- a place of love and light so very different from this earthly place.

And with my last bit of energy, I tried to convey to her with a thump of my tail that my "How could you?" was not directed at her. It was directed at you, My Beloved Master, I was thinking of you. I will think of you and wait for you forever. May everyone in your life continue to show you so much loyalty.

A Note from the Author: If "How Could You?" brought tears to your eyes as you read it, as it did to mine as I wrote it, it is because it is the composite story of the millions of formerly "owned" pets who die each year in American & Canadian animal shelters.

Anyone is welcome to distribute the essay for a non-commercial > purpose, as long as it is properly attributed with the copyright notice.

Please use it to help educate, on your websites, in newsletters, on animal shelter and vet office bulletin boards. Tell the public that > the decision to add a pet to the family is an important one for life, that animals deserve our love and sensible care, that finding another appropriate home for your animal is your responsibility and any local humane society or animal welfare league can offer you good advice, and that all life is precious. Please do your part to stop the killing, > and encourage all spay & neuter campaigns in order to prevent unwanted animals.

Please pass this on to everyone, not to hurt them or make them sad,but it could save maybe, even one unwanted pet.

Remember...They love UNCONDITIONALLY, If you give them LOVE

2005-07-15T14:46:00.000+10:00

Bad Day
Daniel Powter

Where is the moment when we need it the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue sky's faded to grey
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carrying on

Stand in the line just ahead of the law
You're faking a smile with the coffee you go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces every time
And I don't need no carrying on

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Well you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carrying on

You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Sometimes the system goes on the blink and the whole thing it turns out Wrong
You might not make it back and you know that you could be well oh that Strong
Well I'm not wrong

So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You've seen what you like
And how does it feel for one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

2005-07-15T13:47:00.000+10:00

..... Currently enrolled in Business Administration....Itz not as bad as accounting but...I have to face the computers all day long and itz all females in my class. :( I thought that once i get out of Rmit accounting, i would never ever see the debit credit stuff AGAIN. bUt yet here i am doing biz admin......and GUESS WHAT..the debit and credit stuff is one of the module in my course. grrr...i'm so frustrated. I know that i can do those stuff...easily if i work hard.....but I hate numbers and i hate accounting. I 'm never gonna escape from the clutches of "mr debit and mrs credit" ....*sigh*... The good thing about this course..is I only attend sch for 3 days..and i've got thurs and fridayz..off whoopee..well i used to have only fridayz off..but the timetable changed for the better..hopefully it won't change again.....

I applied for the coles myer xmas recruitment..stuff..I need a job badly..sighz..

2005-07-13T20:01:00.000+10:00

My new hair style..awww..i miss my long hair.I have too much layers..makes my hair look so short.

My hunni JJ..In the bus..on da way to mount bulla..

2005-07-10T12:16:00.000+10:00

oooohx.. yesterdayz trip to Mount Bulla...was a good one. Despite the -0 or -1-2-3 degree celsius in temperature..and the falling snow..and the strong winds on top of the mountain...i enjoy the trip a lot.. That was the only day J had a full day off..It took like 3 hours to the mountain and 3 hours back.. mY butt hurts like hell.. We tried ice skii and the tabogan..it was fun..fun..J was so sweet to me yesterday.. we had to wear the skii boots and carry the equipment everywhere..It was so heavy. J offered to carry all my equipments..coz he doesn;t want his wifey to chi ku..and at the same time he was already stuggling with his own equipments...awwwwwww

We play snow ball throws..the snow was so thick and white..Some cars were totally covered with snow...The trees ...were too.. It was a pretty sight...

On the way back, the bus stop at the place where we hired our equipment, for us to return our equipment. I was having my Pz..but i did not bring enuff paddy...so
Silly JJ..ran all the way to the patrol station which was like alot of houses away..just to get my sanitary napkin . He is so cute..he held that packet of paddy and stood outside the female toilet and waited for me..awww hE ran so hard..till his nose bleed..poor fella..LuRva himz...

I've always thought, he'z the one who need me more than i need him..but i guess i was wrong.. This trip..just makes me realise what I've taken for granted..all the time..
*sigh*.....

2005-07-08T18:15:00.000+10:00

You Are Strawberry Ice Cream

A bit shy and sensitive, you are sweet to the core.
You often find yourself on the outside looking in.
Insightful and pensive, you really understand how the world works.
You are most compatible with chocolate chip ice cream.

What Flavor Ice Cream Are You?

2005-07-08T18:05:00.000+10:00

Your Dominant Intelligence is Spatial Intelligence

You've got a good sense of space and how the world around you looks.
You can close your eyes and "see" images. You have innate artistic talent.
An eye for color and shapes, you're also a natural designer.
Since you think in pictures, visual aids and demonstartions help you learn best.

You would make a good navigator, sculptor, visual artist, inventor, architect, interior designer, or engineer.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

2005-07-08T16:16:00.000+10:00

....Yay..Tomoro..JJ and me are going on a trip..Even though it is a short trip..oh well i'm so *excited*..we r going to the snow mountain..mount bulla...LoTZ OF snOW ..I wanta build a snowman..keke..Even though i've been there before with my family but..but ...I'M SO EXCITED..LOL....it takes 3 hrs from melb to the mountain... yiPpeeDIpee Doo...Me and Jay saw fantastic 4 today..it was good...kekekek

JJ is such a sweetie...cute fella...sometimes he gets on my nerves..but...^^ otherwise..he's good.
aww ..(^^,) and JJz gonna stay over at my place tonite...kekekekz ^^ he is taking my room..and i'm squashing in with my sistazzzz......
I'm so excited....I' m making such a big deal out of it...Little things can mean so much..

I saw Jaz(muoy) today..itz been ages since i last saw..her i missh her..bad..I hate it when friends don't keep in touch as they said they would...and that applies to me too...Feel so bad..I've written so many letters to my friends in sg...but..I never had the time to send it out....I'm such a bad friend...xxx *sigh*

...............................s2...................................eeeeeeu.............................aLL

2005-07-06T15:58:00.000+10:00

Just came back from Sydney. I went there with my family. It was a short break for all of us... damn..i really love sydney..Chinatown was great..I went to Sydney 9 years ago..everythingz seems so different now. OMG there would be streets of streets of shopppz...u noe..those hongki.koreanish,Jappish shops..in chinatown.. My parents bought us lots of clothes...The food was yummish...I miss sydney..mangz..Nitelife in Sydney is so much better than Melb...and there are HOTTA guyz over there...My mum was so funny.. there was a sign that saes "Buy one opal and get another free" And she saw it as "Buy one oral,and get another free." She told us that, and we were laughing our heads off...I can't believe she actually saw the sign in that kinda way..Shopping was goot...but my feet hurts like hell...oooh i missh sydney now..but i guess the grass always seems greener on the other side...Humans are never easily contented with what they have..

--Happi 10m0nthz JJ--

2005-07-02T12:04:00.000+10:00

Xxs2-s2-s2 Ten months baby s2-s2-s2xX ...*kisskiss*

.... Shi qu de dong xi, hen nan wan hui, yi wan hui de dong xi bu yao zai shi qu...

-x- started on sept-02 2004-x-

A s2 story started by a kiss.
I once msg him and told him i like him. It freak him off..and he actually turn off his mobile. He admitted this part to me. Later on, he call me and said that he just wana be good good friends, by then i've already forgotten that i had actually msg him to tell him hw i feel. I was a little bit confused, but the pieces finally came together.
So me + him = very good friends...until that day..in Hungry Jacks..I was eating ice cream, and i don't know how , but i took the initiative and plant a kiss on his lipz ^^ I guess my kisskiss was very effective, he ask me out a few dayz later (^^,)V and thatz where the story begins.....

Hez someone i thought I've lost...but yet....things change for the better, and I got him back..

a reason...

2005-06-26T18:37:00.000+10:00

I hold on to this 1 reason to live,
to continue breathing
a reason for my existence in this world
a reason to never stop fighting
even when all hope is gone
You r the reason

Have you ever felt like giving up, on everything and everyone? Feeling all alone, left in the dark, with no shoulders to cry on, you keep running, for the exit and then realised you've been running around in circles.. Just when you're about to give up, suddenly the exit appears right in front of your eyes, does that give u a reason to keep running on, believing that you are gonna get out, even though you're dead tired from all the runnings that you've done?

A reason to live for, something to believe in, a reason for not giving up. Everyone has different reasons to live for, it may not be a good valid one..but it doesn;t matter, ur reasons are ur own, u do not have to justify it to other ppl.

2005-06-22T16:53:00.000+10:00

I had a hair cut on Mond..nw i have a punkish hair style..how cool is that..itz all layered and stuff. I feel so bad..i've totally forgotten about Father's Day..damnz...awww

I'm such a bad daughter... :( *sigh*x darno what ta say.

*Yawn * i'm bored..I can't be stuffed writing nemore. I'm gonna go design more clothes.

tatahz

+ Big Brother +

2005-06-14T14:27:00.000+10:00

When asked about, what is the first thing that comes to your mind, when you hear about Big Brother , the usual response from ppl, are the bare naked bodies of the housemates shown on live national tv on Big brother uncut every monday at 9.40pm. You can actually see the housemates having showers, naked of course, and their bodies are not only bare for the other 12 housemates in the house to see,but also for the whole of Australia. Not only that, you can also hear the housemates talking about the different kinds of sex topics , sex experiments, sex experiences they have gained. You can see, girls pashing each other, grabbing each other and people showing their body parts to one another at one point or another.. Many of the housemates, parents friends and relatives might be watching all of these what do you think?Is this softcore pornography?

From a typical conservative asian woman point of view ( my mummi sayz the gurls are the ones who lose out..because they are baring their bodies to the whole of australia, and their total value as them as an individual human being will depreciate because of what they've shown during the live reality tv show. So what she means is, it's alrite if a guy bare his body, but itz not alrite for a woman to do that.)

And next a typical conservative asian man point of view.( My daddy says that itz alrite for a woman to go naked, but they should not allowed a man to bare himself in front of the whole Australia? Why does he care so much about guyz going naked and not about women?)

My parents confused me. My mum, thinks women should not go naked but men can go naked for all they want, My dad thinks, the men should not go naked, but the women can go naked for all they want, he doesn;t mind..lol

Well i guess, it just comes down to their own preferences of a naked body. All the talks about depreciating of value of an individual..may just be a cover up for their own secret sexual fantasy.lol..

Well for me, the one of the many reasons i loved big brother , is the uncut bit.. am i kinky..nope..Well as it has said, itz a live reality tv show about 12 ppl living in a house for few months, and the last one whoz not eliminated winz a million bucks. People enjoy it, because itz real, itz live from from the house, itz not like a typical movie that has been censored here and there to suit the public viewing.
Remote controls are controlled by humans, you don't have to watch it if you don't want to..therez alwayz many other channels, itz not like someone is threatening u at gunpoint to watch the show..
And btw, for the parents who are afraid..that their teens would be under influence by Big brother Uncut to have premature sex, and thus complain about the tv show.. The TEENs of today are not as stupid as you thought they would be, and obviously not dat innocent anymore..they do not need Big brother uncut to push them into sex, haven you heard of the bigger term "Group Pressure" Instead of wasting time, trying to X big brother, y not spend that time, making sure that your kids are taught how to deal with that. Sometimes, itz not the tv programmes that are dangerous, itz the real-life pressure in a teenz life which has a greater impact on a teenz decision-making skills.

How would i know? I'm 18.

moi s2 profile

2005-06-10T15:41:00.000+10:00

Leo - Your Love Profile

Your positive traits:

You're almost always the center of attention - and easy for potential dates to spot

Your happiness and optimism is appealing to all... and contagious!

You don't hold grudges - getting over little fights is no problem for you

Your negative traits:

You tend to ignore relationship problems, until they are too big to handle

You crave luxury, and you are disappointed with partners who can't provide you with it

If someone does you wrong, you'll coldly and cruely break their heart

Your ideal partner:

Someone high status enough to bring you more attention - but not so great that they upstage you

Makes you laugh and brings excitement to everything you do together

Is aggressive and confident enough to butt heads with you every so often

Your dating style:

High expectations. You need to be impressed with an incredible first date for a second one to occur.

Your seduction style:

You like to make the first move - you're fearless about initiating things

Passionate. You really get into any intimate act.

Aggressive. Most of the time, you find yourself wanting sex more than your partner.

Tips for the future:

Try to not need so much attention. You'll feel less ignored, guaranteed.

Learn to love your parnter for who they are - not how they help advance your life.

Let your partner shine occasionally. You don't always have to be the alpha dog.

Best place to meet someone online:

Platnium Romance - these flirty singles will make sure that you're the center of attention

Best color to attract mate: Gold

Best day for a date: Sunday

Get your free love profile at Blogthings.

+HaPPi 9moNthz anNiversary+

2005-06-02T16:21:00.000+10:00

Our nine months anniversary. keke Like what Jj said " nine months is not that long, nine years are not that far away either." aww..i hope me and jj will have many many more years to come..many many more memories to share with each other. what can i say, he's da best hubby ..we've made a pact to write a letter to each other on our anniversary, this month's letter is da sweetest..from JJ to wywy.

guess what i've passed the nursing test..now all i've to do is.....................go for an interview...oh itz so scary...i just hope i'll make it lol..otherwise bad luck..gud lucks to me..

===+ Just another day +===

2005-05-24T14:16:00.000+10:00

...I hope i'll be able to get into nursing..I always wanted to be a fashion designer..thatz where my real passion lies..People often say to follow your heart in whatever you do, and you'll succeed...I used to believe..that..but the truth is.......itz getting harder to believe in that saying. Reality sets in, and in this world that we are living in right now, you need more than Passion to help you achieve what you really want. Itz even harder in the world of fashion, the trends come and go..one minute you can be right on top of the "Best designers list" and the next minute, no one would even remember who you are. "u are history, KO game over" Nursing is hard too, but nothing is easy in the world anymore. I'm gonna work as a nurse first. When i have enough cashy, I'll open my own fashion shop.. with my own clothing designs and my own label. There are gonna be tough times on the way...but....itz gonna make me stronger not weaker..^^ i will perservere I will not give up even when all hope is gone I will achieve I will succeed................................

Monday the 16

2005-05-18T11:22:00.000+10:00

I thought that Friday the 13 was already bad enough. Gosh, i din expect that the worse was yet to come. My parents and us (the three monkeys) were supposed to go out and have dinner. But unfortunately, my dad's car broke down, and we had to bring it to the mechanic. The mechanic had no spare parts at the time and so my dad had to leave the car with him. Well, i thought "It wasn't that bad, we could get a cab or ask someone to take us home." But wait..there were 5 of us and we would not be able to fit into the cab, well we should be able to..but the law says otherwise. Well, so we had to ask a friend to come pick us up. We were relieved.....but just when we were leaving our store...my dad realised "oops he left the home keys in the car. The mechanic was long gone." ....................In the end, we had to wait for the mechanic to go to his place to get the keys out for us, before we would be able to go home. Lucky for my dad, the mechanic no was written outside the shop...otherwise...the whole family would be homeless..for a night....damnz..

My hubby Jay, lend his car to my dad for a day, and Jay had to go borrow off his friend's car..lol how cute..he is such a Mr Nice Guy..................*squeeze squeeze *

+Friday da 13++

2005-05-13T12:27:00.000+10:00

What can i say? It is indeed a bad day for me. Got a eye infection, and the doc says that unless it recovers in a week, i have to undergo an operation to get the cyst out..HMMz...and right early in the morning......my mum yelled at me and my sister for no reason..... :(.. this is the worst Friday the 13 in my whole life..i hate friday the 13.....(*_*)

+s2 comes at a price s2+

2005-05-07T10:14:00.000+10:00

For the last last 2 days, me and J would have arguements and it was usually over the phone. As usual, it was always me starting the fight, for some silly reasons. When i'm mad, i tend to say many hurtful things to J even though i don;t mean any of it and i guess it hurts J badly. I feel so silly, I'm always expecting him to be a better boyfriend, i'm never contented with what he already is- a good sweet bf. Sometimes it hurts so bad, when he takes what he has promised me for granted. But i guess no one is perfect, and i should not condemn him just because of one thing that he does, that is not to my satisfaction.I guess i'm pretty mean to J and I'm a very demanding girlfriend. The one reason that pisses me off..is the same reason why i s2 J so much. During arguements , J never once yelled at me o r shouted at me, no matter how mean i am to him. He'll just always say silly jokes to try to calm me down, but it always has the opposite effect.He is so patient with me, and no matter what he'll always forgive me time and time again, with not a single complain coming out of his mouth. This has an effect of making me feel utterly mean. Few days ago, i was sick and h e came over to boil this pear soup for me..awwwww even though it does nt taste very good..but..he melts my heart. wotta silly boi..Thinking back into the past 8 mths, i realised, that he indeed never ever did threw a temper at me..but me on da other hand..has so many tempers to throw at him. poor J..but i guess thatz the price he has to pay for lOVING wy....I'm so bossy...^^ and mean..hmmz but maybe thatz what he likes about me..lolz

+// Jenz bdae //+

2005-04-29T21:25:00.000+10:00

28/4/05 + went to Eg..to have ice cream and pancake
me and ai bought her this pjz..from bras and things..itz so adorable
+ went to may's hm and hang out for a while

+ went to keoz hm to play da sparkling thingy

+ stayed over at Ai's place..did lotsa talkings

J could not slp..because i was slping over at my friendz hm..
29/4/04
Silly J waited at the station and even warm up his car just for me..
coz it was freezing
Hang out at his place..went to tab..
aww i feel so bad..J lost so much $$...

and he keeps saying he luvz "laopo more then money" awwwwww

wotta sweetie..hmzz..he's the first guy that I can't bear to dump even after
7 months..........

+...hehe..++

2005-04-24T16:30:00.000+10:00

Yestaday was my daddyz bday..my sweet hun came over..lubz him..lotz..he is alwayz so cute to me..hope he neva leaves me me me.......eeeeeeeeeh

----- fun day-----

2005-04-22T16:30:00.000+10:00

...My daddyz bday is coming..lol My J went shopping with me today..he bought this $110 jacket from giordarno for my daddy..awww so sweet of him..It was a fun day today..We went to play pokies..and i lose all my money to that damn pokies machine..GAMBLING IS BAD..lolz no money left.....sighz..my luck is running out......as fast as my cash. :( I need a job now..at leasst i got money coming in............sighz... went to his hm and hang out for a while before he drove me home..i lov lov baby......awwwwwww Today i wore a revealing top..where it showz 3/4 of ur boobz except for the 2 dotz..lol..and in the shopping centre onda escalator jay says " Hug me" i said "why?" he said " i don;t want other ppl looking at ur boobs" lol i din wan to hug him so he hugz me tite....wot a cutie pie. delicious yummilicious cutilicious baby...muuuak

_+ I'm dumb+_

2005-04-19T21:37:00.000+10:00

I tried my best to study for my business statistic..and I'm pretty sure i really did try..
But i stuffed up my test..My friends are so smart..they have been getting such good grades..and me? i tried and tried and tried...but...*so disappointed* am i really dumb? why am i dumb? mayb i shld try harder..maybe i shld just be a loser..and just give Up.. Itz true..if u mix around with friends that don't study alot..u'll tend to get lazy..if u mix around wif friends that study alot i mean over the top, u'll find them boring..and wat pisses me off is that my friends don't study a lot..and they alwayz get high distinction for every test...WOTZ WRONG WIF ME..? The pressure is building up..i want to beat them beat them..at least one of them..grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

---+lovee+ neva be replaced---

2005-04-16T15:21:00.000+10:00

I wish nothing will tear me and J apart. He is my hunny boi..so sweet,silly..and most important he cherish me..and love me so so much..if one day..we will go our separate ways..I know..no one can ever replace J in my heart..but i wish realli hard..that..he'll always be my hunz..hez da one.for me..have u found urs yet?

_+Disappointed+_

2005-04-16T14:30:00.000+10:00

I'm so..utterly disappointed with someone. He used to be someone i loved the most..He remains so special to me ..but what he have said or have written to me recently..makes me think twice about why i even care to help him in the first place . The words that he wrote to me..every single word..hurts me. He turns to me for cash again..saying that if he don;t have the cash, he would be dead for sure, i rejected him..He called me selfish. If i was selfish, i would not even starve myself to be get him da 2oobucks he need..did he know that? I did not want him to repay me or even need him to do that, and now he's calling me selfish because i'm not giving him the 5oobucks he need..I don't have the cash and i'm certainly not his atm machine. If i could help a friend..i would do everything i could to help and just because I'm not giving him what he expected to gets from me, i'm listed on his "selfish people list" Is that fair? Was i wrong for thinking that he wasn't what ppl said he was? was i wrong for trying to make him a better person? was i wrong for wishing that he would change for the better? am i wrong for thinking that we could still be friends after everything? i guess i am..To him , a friend is someone who will clean up his mess everytime he gets in trouble, and if that friend can no longer do that..therez no use anymore in keeping that friend. If that is his defintion of a friend, I guess I 've to stop trying and wishing for us to be friends...I never once regret the times we've been together..no matter how hard it was..but what he've said..makes me ponder..if i did a right thing in calling him up in the first place and getting together ..agaim i guess itz wrong for me t o go against fate ....if a relationship ends, it ends..no matter how much u want it to continue, therez no point of finding any excuses or reasons to start it again..coz in the end u'll realise that it was all a fantasy..and you'll only get yourself hurt..just like me.

+I love my Hun+

2005-04-15T17:42:00.000+10:00

He means so much to me..lol..we went and watch da pacifier today..he wanted to watch Robot..but heehee me wanted to watch da pacifier so he..had to..watch it with me..Even though he only has one day off..to acc me..I'm veri happi still..aww sweet silly boi...lIKe every other gurl who is in love..I wanta be wif silly J 4ever...Today he asked me "when are we gonna get married?" I don't think that we are a normal couple..we r like da weird ones..he keeps wanting me to haf babies 4 him..and he said it straight to my face.he calls my dad his daddy.and me keeps on telling him i wan to be Mrs Liu.."Basically we are2ppl who have no sense of shame" ...*Sigh*............................

+++ Love +++

2005-04-09T19:10:00.000+10:00

||..Time passes so quickly..||

Jay and i are going towards our 8mths..I'm nort sure if that is a long time or a short time..because i've never ever been in a relationship that last more then 2mths..Itz kinda weird..if it wasn't for the kiss that i gave to J..in hungry Jackz..I guess we would not even be together..heez..J is such a sweetie..I'm always the one who picks on him becoz he is the one who will always be so so nice to me..thatz why i feel so lucky...My parents knew ages ago that he was my boyfriend..but J is still keeping it from his parents..grrr y is that>.<.. Shldn;t it be da gurl who'll try keeping it frm her parents...J is such a weirdo...awww but he is still my honey bunny..^^

I'm listening to wang lee hom "dream again"...aww he is so sexy..I love guys who r talented and can sing..My J can do neither lol.but i still love him da same..i got da best best boy in the world..he neba throw any tempers..treats me like a princess, spoilts me like a baby, generous wif his $$$ and s2vin..getz along wif my family, manage to stand my bossiness..he is so goot..maybe a lil too good..but i can't complain about that can i? LoL i hope he neba leaves me..........coz if he do..hmm i might decide to experiment a lil bit and change my sexuality,..thatz a bit extreme..but afterall wot do I gotta lose? ya thatz da positive attitude everione shld haf ^^ i hope Jo and gel would not read this coz they'll have anuthda headache ( to J and G..u noe wot i meant ^^)

^^

Lostie

2005-04-05T18:59:00.000+10:00

I'm currently doing accounting ..but i'm still so lost at what i am going to work as in the future..Do i love accounting? No i don;t..I love the $ u can make as an accountant..lol..I don't look like an accountant,i'm not good in keeping track of money ..*sigh* wat am i going to be...i'm so *frustrated*..I'm so lost..or shld i say i'm lost all the time..in everything...wot can i be??

I miss high schoolll...awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww next thing u noe..all ur friends are getting married, having kids..half of their lives GONE..wotta scary fing that is..*signz*...Life is getting harder as time pass..wot can i sae..turning nineteen soon..so Old.......but i still look like a lil kid.....nort a bit like a woman...i've tried..dressing myself up and putting make up...on to make myself look a lil bit..u know Older..lol it never work..i look like a monster..

Itz nice to be complimented once or twice..by ppl that i don't look my age..but..itz getting INTO me,,getting complimented all da time.....about how young i look....:(....itz getting annoying...it'll be preeti weird..if i become a mum..and someone would give comments like.."ooh cute baby, is this ur brother/sister?" LoL
s
miissing moi babeeeee
i got a test tomaro...oh no

+++ Easter Day +++

2005-03-25T12:02:00.000+11:00

J gota a day off today.. i mean a whole day off..^^ guess where we went today..crown casino..lol gambling on easter dae..J won 300bucks from da pokies machine..he spend like 5 bucks..me won 91 bucks and my goody goody fwend..Jen..won about 50..lol......fun day

i hope we wun get addicted to pokies,,
lol i'm gonna play pokies on next friday

wywy

(---^x^----)

2005-03-16T18:36:00.000+11:00

[ guessi wot, my parents are applying a credit card for me..YAY window shopping days are over for me *slash slash slash*..kee...yeh i wanted a Apper Ibook..g4 guess wot my parents are probably gonna get it for me..I'm such a spoilt pampered kid..^^ u CAN call me spoilt, pampered..or wotever..lol those words dun mean any shyt to me..^^ lol soona or lata..I'm gunna haf my own car too..whoopee...i can drive drive drive...slash slash slash..type type type...geez life will get pwetti boring if i can get everything i want...

Material things, are simply not what I've always wanted..I can have everything i want..but yet feel so empty spritually and emotionally. Many things that i've ever wanted are not any of the above..but *sigh* I just needed someone to understand me, but almost everyone that i knew in my life, just simply assume the kind of person they thought that i would be. Itz so hard to open up to people, when all they ever do is assume. " i thought u were this Blah blah blah kinda person, but now i realised ur not" " i thought u could do this, but now i guess i was wrong" I was always me from the start, I don;t think i ever did changed..But " change" was what they claimed to be the reason, why i am not the person they think i am, or why i could not achieve what they thought i could achieved...

I hate it, but what can i do..Whatever they are doing to me, i on the otherhand is also guilty for assuming "people to be who i thought they were" " what comes around goes around." My pride always stands in my way, itz so hard to for me to say sorry, even when it involve hurting the ones you love the most... .Everyone said that i'm self-centered, i don't give a shit about others...they don't know any shit about what's going on in my life...I have this "i don;t give a damn" look on my face..all da time..but does i t means i'm not affected that I am not on the verge of a breakdown, inside of me...Sometimes i'm hurting so bad..on the inside but all i ever do is smile, and if i have to cry..i'll only cry in the dark. No one would know, that tears are falling down my face, no one would ever find out ..that ..i'm not as strong as they thought i''ll be..

Continuously living under other ppl's high expectations , is one torturous journey in our daily lives, but i guess this is one journey no one can avoid or escape from. Afterall, without expectations of your own and others, one would not be pushed to the limit, to the point or peak of their life where they'll be motivated and would achieved the most. i guess expectations from others, is another form of improvement for us, which would be implemented in our daily lives and help us to become a better person...

Look in the positive way, wywy!]

++lalala++

2005-03-04T16:00:00.000+11:00

xxx...Jay and me went out today..time passes so quickly when i am with him...xxx Jay had some rashes kinda fing so he went to see da doc..while i went to da library to get some books for me to read on da train..damn all the books i wanted to get..eg Dan brown's angels and demons, deception point, da vinci code...were all out..and Brother fish was out too..People said those books were good..itz so so popular..no wonder every single one of them were out..*disappointed* Well i got some othda books, *Nadia's song *, * Without Mercy,* , *Behaving Badly *..they look kinda goot to me..yeh i have not read it but..^^ it should be good.
Me and J had lunch afterwards. J is so predictable, he ordered beef special and a lemonade wif half lemon in it...lol he always eats the same food and drinks da same drink..*sigh* We went shopping at dandy..J got himself the 100ml Ralph Lauren Silver...awwww I'm not sure why guyz like it..coz it doesn't smell that good to me..* i wan Jlo miami glow * awww...90bucks...when can i get it huh? it smells incredibly wonderful..

J got me a track pants...pink with these words at the back *mind da gap..* hee i wanted to pay for it..but..awwwww and he actually got me these billabong..hoody shirt for me which cost like 60 bucks...feel so bad bad..he always get me stuff...his bday is coming soon..any one got any ideas..to get a guy who has everything? V'day is over...and now..i'm having a headache again.....
lol..J is so so cute..so sweet to me...i was saying that he shld not get me da top..but he said " 不要那麼計較﹐你是我的老婆。。還那麼見外" awwwwwww

it wuss a sweet day...for me
but time passes so quickly
it wun stop even for a min

haiz..waiting for next friday again..

+I GOT MY PS ON MOND21+

2005-02-26T17:45:00.000+11:00

...sch started for two weeks nw...
and blardi hell i got a test this coming week omg..I joined the Singapore Association club..lol mite be joining the latin dance club or da belly dance club..lol there are so many clubs to join...

erm..not sure wota blog rite..now..my mind is empty, empty, and empty..hee..sometimes my life can feel so empty and some other times, my life has so many problems coming my way... *sigh* I cut my fringe because it was too long..and when i went to ta toilet in sch..i bumped my head onto the tissue roll thingy..

lol i just remembered....*I GOT MY PS...IT MEANS I CAN START DRIVING ON MY OWN.* AFTER 2YRS I'LL GET MY full licence..how cool is that.. But i guess i'm .just lucki..because i passed the test by just 1point...heee..well i'm happy that i passed..I was so nervous be4 dat becoz my parents kept on..talking about how they spend a thousand bucks on my driving...I'm glad i did not waste that thousand bucks...

i guess i havta go..do some homework..well maybe i'll do it..maybe...but for now..tata
hmm 6pm- The world around us- Built for the kill..lol i'm not sure why but i simply love to watch documentary esp... documentaries.on animals................

2005-02-26T17:30:00.000+11:00

...Sch has been fun..

made new friends..Itz been 2 weeks since i went out with J..and today was the day..
We went to springy to get our hair cut..lol i was pissed coz J kept laughing at my fringe...bumhole..wotta nice boyfriend..we had morning tea at Golden leaf...and after that went to his hm to hang out...^^..He had to go bk at work at 5..awwwwwwwwww NORT FAIR.........................................i miss him my darling...

V'dai

2005-02-14T17:25:00.000+11:00

nuffin muxh..lol i had to blardi start my blardi sch on this day..so i did not c j in da afternoon but at nite..when he came over..I got an mini ipod for V day...awww silly J spend all his money on me..but well i was broke..so just did some silly stuff..which realli touches Jz heart..it was worth it afterall.. fankz darl for giving me a mini ipod....

xX chInki festivaL. xX

2005-02-06T19:06:00.000+11:00

+ woke up early, went to Jen's hm
+Acc Jen for a haircut
+Went to Springy at 1pm to wait for the others
+ Walked around frm 2pm to 10pm
+WON lotz of soft toyz ^^ yippee

-- tired tired tired--fun--fun---fun day..

It wuld be funner..if J was here...and lol David sok found me..i owe him a bday prezzie...

Happi bday to my sis Phi and David..

s2--- 5mths---s2

2005-02-02T17:29:00.000+11:00

Today..is my hun and i , 5mths anniversary. It does not seem long to othdas..but it is belli long to me..I never had a relationship which last over 1mth ,and 5mths is a new damn breaking record....in my life. I hope we'll be together for another 5mths..and anothda and another...

My dad found out that there was an earthquake at 3am today..from the news...I was so shocked..because i did not even feel the earth shaking...I was so asleep in my warm , cosy bed. lol..I wonder what would happen to everyone in melbourne if there was a big earthquake.. That is so scary...

Happi 5mths.. Anniversary to my dear...J..Itz has been a pretti tough 5mths..but we made it through..Just came back frm driving..omg i'm taking my driving test on 21 Feb...thatz so soon...I've been taking several driving lessons..but it it doesn't seem to be successful in boosting up my confidence..........*sighz*...i hope luck will be on my side once more...

i miss my silli bunnix..J

permanent straighten my hair on Mon...

no more curli hair..and now i am missing my curly hair..........

++ Friendshipz++

2005-01-30T18:32:00.000+11:00

Itz been ages since i saw my friends in Singapore..I wonder how are they doing..missed them dearly..Its so easy to tell each other that we will stay in contact but it's always so hard to do wat we said we would do. I haven't been writing letters to them, and even though i have already written the letters and prepared da gifts..I always forgot to send them. I'm such a lazy bum, but i hope that they'll know that i still cherish our friendships deeply. Even though, we r far apart and everyone has made new friends, but in my heart old friends are always the best. Now i'm in another stage of my life, where i'll make new friends, its another experience i will gain and new memories will be added on in my life. Although, it's hard , to witness a friendship that u thought would last forever, fall apart, but i guess this is one of the changes we have to deal with in life. Accept it and move on. Somethings change for the best, some for the worst but nothing will remain the same. But one thing is for sure, when there is goodbye...there'll always be another hello. The circle of friendship continues on rolling for as long as u live...and for all the many friendships that one may have lost or drifted away frm along the way..it will continue on burning in our heart for as long as we want it to. To all my friends who are reading this, just want to let u guys know, that u rock! And as long as we have each other in our hearts, someday da path that we are walking on , will bring us together again. If we t ruly believe that we'll meet again, i believe fate will allow it to happen.

I LOVE U GUYZ...lolz

--starting school--

2005-01-29T18:20:00.000+11:00

On thursday, Jay drove me and Jen to da ct to enrol into our courses...it wuss kinda xciting..cause we get to see our future classmates...Jay and Jen are in the computer science course while I am in Accounting...We went to da casino after J and Jen's enrolment.. it was fun playing da Jackpot.. i put in a dollar and i won 21bucks..while Jen put in 3 bucks and she won 30bucks..As it was expected..we lost everyfing we won at da end of the day..my silly J drove into a one way road and there were vehicles driving towards us..he almost got us killed..well it wasn't all his fault part of it was Jen's bad direction sense..lol..I enroled into my course...there were some cute asian guys but da majority of it was hot aussies..POor J..got a fine...for his car..lol thatz way betta then getting his car towed away...It was a pretti fun day on thurs.........................................................................................

Today..J cut his hand accidentally at work..aww my poor hun..he had to go to a wedding at 7... and half an hour ago..he came by my house to visit me...I did not wan him to go..so i locked him up in da garage....he was yelling inside....lol but in da end i still had to let him go...no matter how reluctant i was.......*sighz*

i wish my hun would haf time to be with me......

+--Alone--+

2005-01-25T19:34:00.000+11:00

+-- Jz not gunna study nemre...I was so disappointed. Even though i knew that he had to manage his shop..and he has his own difficulties..but i just want him to continue studying. He has been working a lot..7days a week frm 9am to 9pm. I want him to take a break frm his wking life and spend time wif me. i can understand that he did his best to make some time to be wif me. But out of 140days we've been together..we onli spent 20days...going out. Although we'll see each othda time to time..but itz realli not enuff.. I said some pretty mean stuff..and it wasn;t bout J....it was about his parents..I dun realli mean it at all..but i guess it realli did make him mad. .But..i ...dun wan to feel so alone anymore. Its so sad to be in a relationship and yet feel so alone. When i am upset..I wanted him so much to be here for me..but he has no time..he's always bz running the store...even if i did call him and tell him my problems...wat can he do? I 'm unreasonable at times..but it realli hurts so bad...inside. I once told him that no matta how hard itz gunna be...i'll wait for him..but itz so easy for me to sae and itz so hard to do it...I wish there would be a way out of these...i've had a relationship in da past..where diz guy is always so bz playing games and wking..and i'm not even sure wat i meant to him......but it hurts so bad..and i dun eba wan these feelings to come back again...hopefulli me and J would work fings out tonite.. --+

+ Back Again +

2005-01-08T18:34:00.000+11:00

Itx been ages since i last update my blog...becox something went wrong on my othda blogskin ..i had to change to a new blogskin..this new blogskin issh cute..like it lotx..time passes so quickly..itx da start of anothda year..But it wasn't like da other new years..it was a bad start for everione..becoz of the Tsunami..Many ppl lost their lives..esp in thailand and Indonesia...I feel so sad for those who had not survived but i sympathised those who r living more as they have to live in great anguish and pain in knowing that their loved ones won't be back in their lives. sighx...Everyone says that the pain would fade away eventually, but would it really fade away as wat they 've said? The terror, the grief ...Thousands of dead bodies..pile in row,on da ground which used to be a place full of celebrations and joy.. now all it represents is a land of death... As a saying goes " The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone." Many of those who had survived without their family, did not have enough time so say the words they want to say to their loved ones or did the things they would like to do for their loved ones before saying their last goodbye...and this probably would be da biggest regret of their lives. Therefore, we should cherish every minute with da people u care and love da most..cos every min could be our last or their last...Its so easy to say but its so hard to do...PPl saes...every day when u wake up..being able to breathe , to feel, to love, to care, to hurt..is another gift that God gives to you...I;m not sure wat to believe in, anemore..I drifted away from God..even though i wan to believe he is there watching..frm above..but if he is there, then why did he let those people suffer? Isn't God meant to be merciful and loving, how can he bear to watch da Tsunami happen and did nuffing to stop it? I'm not God..i can't understand how he think..maybe as wat the bible says,the end of the world is coming or maybe God allow da tsunami to happen for countries around da world to unite for something worse then da fate of the Tsunami victims, in da future? But why...da lives of many are taken away just like that....It's not fair..for fate.to say it was their time to die when some barely even started their lives..