Wednesday, March 16, 2005,6:36 PM
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[ guessi wot, my parents are applying a credit card for me..YAY window shopping days are over for me *slash slash slash*..kee...yeh i wanted a Apper Ibook..g4 guess wot my parents are probably gonna get it for me..I'm such a spoilt pampered kid..^^ u CAN call me spoilt, pampered..or wotever..lol those words dun mean any shyt to me..^^ lol soona or lata..I'm gunna haf my own car too..whoopee...i can drive drive drive...slash slash slash..type type type...geez life will get pwetti boring if i can get everything i want... Material things, are simply not what I've always wanted..I can have everything i want..but yet feel so empty spritually and emotionally. Many things that i've ever wanted are not any of the above..but *sigh* I just needed someone to understand me, but almost everyone that i knew in my life, just simply assume the kind of person they thought that i would be. Itz so hard to open up to people, when all they ever do is assume. " i thought u were this Blah blah blah kinda person, but now i realised ur not" " i thought u could do this, but now i guess i was wrong" I was always me from the start, I don;t think i ever did changed..But " change" was what they claimed to be the reason, why i am not the person they think i am, or why i could not achieve what they thought i could achieved... I hate it, but what can i do..Whatever they are doing to me, i on the otherhand is also guilty for assuming "people to be who i thought they were" " what comes around goes around." My pride always stands in my way, itz so hard to for me to say sorry, even when it involve hurting the ones you love the most... .Everyone said that i'm self-centered, i don't give a shit about others...they don't know any shit about what's going on in my life...I have this "i don;t give a damn" look on my face..all da time..but does i t means i'm not affected that I am not on the verge of a breakdown, inside of me...Sometimes i'm hurting so bad..on the inside but all i ever do is smile, and if i have to cry..i'll only cry in the dark. No one would know, that tears are falling down my face, no one would ever find out ..that ..i'm not as strong as they thought i''ll be.. Continuously living under other ppl's high expectations , is one torturous journey in our daily lives, but i guess this is one journey no one can avoid or escape from. Afterall, without expectations of your own and others, one would not be pushed to the limit, to the point or peak of their life where they'll be motivated and would achieved the most. i guess expectations from others, is another form of improvement for us, which would be implemented in our daily lives and help us to become a better person... Look in the positive way, wywy!]
Hello. I'm WyWy.
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